Christmas

I loved Christmas as a kid, like most children. SO excited on Christmas Eve I couldn't get to sleep. But also afraid if I didn't, Santa wouldn't come. Yet trying to also pretend I was asleep and stay away, just for a fleeting glimpse of this magical hero. My brother & I used to get up as soon as we possibly could to rifle through our stockings. Christmas Day always meant presents of course, but Mum & Dad being so happy and laid back, lot's of family around, everyone laughing and happy and heaps of yummy food with the word 'No' banned for the day.

Of course over the years I've watched Christmas become so very commercialised and the true meaning and simpler traditions getting lost or forgotten. This part of Christmas I dislike. But I also don't like Christmas anymore either, as it's a day I find where people in my family are still nice on that day, racing to give you a hug and a kiss, tell you they love you and wishing you a Merry Christmas. Presents come and food flows. But it feels so fake to me now as the rest of the year, as a family, we don't interact or care for each other like that. I feel forgotten, neglected, cast aside.

So on Christmas Day, instead of being able to enjoy what is for that day, I find that inside my heart, a huge void is ripped open, filled with loneliness and despair.

I wonder why we need occasions such as Christmas to be nice to each other. A little injection of Christmas into each and every day, is what I'd love and what I aim for in my interactions with people.