Bad Manners

I know we all have bad days, and yes I too have been guilty of taking my bad mood out on a shopkeeper or another driver. But I also do it rarely, and try hard not to do it. Mainly because it makes me feel worse about myself. And because I know how that feels, I hate doing it to someone else. This aside, today, bad manners are far more prevalent than basic common courtesy, politeness, civility and treating others as you'd like to be treated. I'd be the first to tell you not to bottle things up and to express your feelings, with all the trouble this has caused (and still does) me over the years. But this does not mean you express them all over the place like an exploding toilet! What happened to self control? Or discretion? Or thinking of repercussions? The age of instant gratification is well and truly here. And it seems to include instantly releasing your garbage so you feel better and be damned what it does to others. The other day I had a lady say to me not to take to heart the bad treatment of her daughter and son-in-law (who is my brother). She cavalierly said that it means nothing - it's just them unloading shit and we all do it. I said I disagreed. Yes, we all are guilty at times of doing or saying things we (should) regret later on. But on a continuing basis it was just plain bad behaviour. I told her yes, we all have bad times, but it's not fair or right to continually take it out on others. That is simply bad manners and bad behaviour. Whatever happened to communication? Having conversations? Discussing things? Instead of dumping things. I do not like the way society is going in this regard. I have had atrocious times in my life, yet I could still manage to be nice to others, considerate and polite. This actually made me feel better about myself and my situation for a little while, instead of just perpetuating the ugliness. Come on people - do not spread your shit everywhere. Contain it and deal with it. Other people have feelings and a right to walk safely and happily in this world and not nervously and tentatively, afraid of others moods, each and every day. Grow up and act reasonably!

Relationships

You see it happen so many times. People going from one long term relationship that has failed, straight into another relationship. Not even finishing the first relationship fully, before embarking on another. I am not a prude. I understand not all relationships or marriages work out. But why do people jump straight into another one? What is wrong with taking some time, even a few months, to be on your own? Gather your thoughts, finish that relationship physically AND emotionally. Process things. Let things sit. Gather your breath. Sort yourself out. Calm down and settle down. ESPECIALLY when children are involved. If you are confused and having trouble adapting, image the turmoil, confusion, damage and hurt the kids experience. Carrying YOUR emotional baggage into the future. Shaping and molding them. Changing them forever. Perpetuating bad relationships and cycles and dysfunction, when there is no need for it. People are afraid to be on their own. Afraid to try and cope. Afraid of what they might feel or what they will discover about themselves. Thinking they need a partner to be complete. That this is the only real goal in life. Others just like that perpetual feeling of "being in love". I understand parents need lives too. Of course. But when you decide to have children and bring them into the world, your job is to consider them first and to minimize any hurt as much as you can. You can't shield them from everything. But making stupid decisions for instant gratification is very WRONG. If you don't take even a little bit of time to catch your breath and be on your own, even just to sort your domestic situation out, you are really doomed to repeat the mistakes and choose similar people to the failed relationships. Come on adults, especially parents - do the right thing by your children AND yourselves. Sort your lives out and stop the dysfunction that creates enormous pain. It's not fair on the children. They didn't ask for it.

Self Reflection

A little bit of regular self reflection is a good thing. It doesn't have to mean going into counselling as that isn't everyone's cup of tea. But getting to know yourself and being honest with yourself (if no-one else) is a good thing. You can notice your good and bad habits, your good and bad qualities, notice things you'd like to change and things you'd like to build up. You will notice your role in relationships, patterns of behaviour, things that you do to sabotage yourself, things that build you up inside and you want to do more of. This all helps you achieve a healthier sense of self, greater self confidence and balance in your life, so you don't get knocked down so often. So you achieve your goals and follow your dreams while still meeting daily obligations. It also stops you blaming others all the time for things and not taking any responsibility. It can be a way to intervene early in problems and keep your life and relationships on track. And a way to treat the people around you with more respect instead of lashing out all the time. Just something to ponder ....

Blessings in Disguise

I wonder if the current economic crisis is a blessing in disguise. It was always going to happen after the years and years of increasing consumerism, materialistic attitudes and impatience. While the straw that broke the camels back may have been the 'big wigs', we as a society and individuals are not blameless. Falling for the ruse that more things will make us happy. Buying all the gadgets, clothes, cars and must-haves NOW and never pausing to think. Buy now pay later. Instead of choose now, save and buy later. The Australian dream of a home turned into the biggest and best you could eke out of lending institutions. Not starting modestly and working your way up. Renovating as you could afford, DIY, just being happy with a roof over your head and a loving family underneath. There is no appreciation of what we have. No joy in working to save for an item and being grateful. Have all these items, increased and crippling debt, children in every activity under the sun until they have schedules that rival executives, made our society happier? Or healthier? Or peaceful? Or crime-free? Has it eradicated abuse, violence, illness and suffering? No. We have more and more people suffering stress. Anxiety. And Depression is the leading cause of disability in Australia. These surely are signs of a society ready to break. Of unhappiness. Of strain. Of continual seeking when what you need is right there within and surrounding you. We see evidence of this all around us with irritable people, rude people, children who have limited attention spans and appreciate nothing. Maybe the economic crisis that is the consequence of all this, was meant to be. There is more and more talk of simpler lives now. Of growing vegies, of recycling, of reducing energy costs, of wanting more from life than material possessions. This has emerged out of necessity, yes. But the flow on to spending more time as families doing these things as they are time intensive, comparitively, has to be a positive thing for relationships, which these days, so many of us find so difficult and so finicky. So much talk of being mindful and in the moment. Not hippy talk. Not the answer. Because in years gone by they did this naturally. Yes, the state of the economy and the strain on many due to this is not nice. But I wonder if this is the start of a much needed bigger change that can only benefit society, people, the environment and the world's happiness. Just a thought.

Positive Focus of Energy

This last month of February has seen me join my cousin and a few others on Facebook, in a challenge to take a photo every day during the month, of something you are grateful for and post it on your profile. I was fairly grudging in mood at first, because I'd been in a bad place for a long time. But it was great to have one of my first thoughts each day being to grab my camera. And to always have in the back of my mind during the day, about something positive in my life. To shift my focus from how I was feeling inside, to a different perspective. I've heard of people doing journals like this of things they love or are grateful for each day. Even attempting them for only a few days. But if you stick with it, forcing yourself at first and even when you don't feel grateful, it's amazing how that subtle shift of focus can alter your outlook on life and overall mood after a month. I must admit I've been doing other things too, working hard on myself, to lift myself out of this funk. But I believe that this little exercise has been a big part in the change in me. Creative pursuits always work well for me. Why oh why do I let myself get so far down that I can't even find a spark of energy or motivation to be creative! Do I dare say never again. No - I'm too human for that *laughs*.

Giving to the Bushfire Effort

It is tragic just how fast, furious and ferocious the Bushfires down south were. And almost unbelievable the number of casualties. My cousin was having trouble getting her head around how many deaths there were, so one morning she went out and sat on her deck, and counted out 1 pebble for each death from her nearby garden, making them into the shape of a heart as she went. This really brought home how many precious souls were gone and just how much grief and devastation would be left in the wake of this tragedy. It is great how Australia has rallied with raising money for those affected. Even in the little town where I live, with a population of around 3,000 people, already over $10,000 has been raised with a Cattle Sale and other functions still to be held. This does not take into account personal donations, the truck loads of animal fodder being taken down voluntarily and people who have gone down to volunteer their time. It's truly amazing the capacity Australians have to give. Living in a small town, I am continually amazed at how much others give and how much money can be raised in a crisis. I should not be amazed, having lived here so long, but I always am. We can have a family afflicted by a tragedy and within a few weeks a fundraiser is arranged, held and up to $30,000 raised. That is truly amazing for such a small population. But I digress. Even with all the tragedy and the giving, there are those who struggle to live day to day and don't have much spare to give. Unfortunately at times these people can be made to feel selfish, or guilty or ashamed because they aren't giving as much as others. This isn't very nice, because if you look at the overall picture and everyone gives what they can afford, even buying a $1 raffle ticket or a cake at a cake stall, the monetary value adds up just the same. After all, what does that old saying say? It's the thought that counts. Well that is true. It's the heartfelt gesture behind the monetary value, giving what you can afford or even giving what you can't afford that week. It's a personal thing and should never be judged. Whatever anyone gives, whether it be money, time, services or second hand items from their home, it is needed by someone out there who has nothing. Someone who will appreciate the gesture, the love, the compassion and the thought behind each and every donation. So I hope nobody is beating themselves up because they (can't) give enough. Or that others aren't making you feel inferior because they may be financially better off than you and giving more. Embrace your loving giving spirit and know that that is more than enough.

Cowardly use of Technology

I am the first to be a fan of technology. I like gadgets. I carry a mobile phone, especially when I travel. I use Facebook to stay in touch with relatives who live far away and old friends I'd lost touch with. I've used Instant Messaging in the past and am prone to sending off a quick SMS. Email - where would I be without email? But I think like in the rest of your life, these things should be used the same way you would treat people in person. I have found that it's easier for people to be mean to others and say things they wouldn't in person, via text message, email or post it all over Facebook. To say things in the heat of the moment, that they may consider more carefully in person, or if they had to get in the car and drive to the person's house before saying it. It's cowardly. It's mean. It's rude. The behaviour in many ways is worse than if done in person, as it leaves people without a comeback. Without being able to address the issue. Without being able to have a discussion and put their side across. And many times I find that if you were to address them in person about something they've said in some techno form, it makes it worse. They'll deny they meant that, or they phrased it badly or you're blowing it out of proportion. I am the last person to like confrontation. It literally brings me to my knees, I shake that badly. But I'd rather have a chance to have my say or defend myself, than be left hanging, hurt and wounded at the other end of a computer. I know I've been guilty at times of telling people things via email that I'd find difficult to do in person. But not necessarily mean things. Things that I'd find hard to find a moment to get them to listen. Or to hear me. Or for me to be articulate enough in person. But I won't do it in the heat of the moment. I take a long time to consider what I say before sending it. Give them time to read it and then meet up to talk about it. But they're not mean things - usually just issues deep and painful for me. People that use technology to harrass, insinuate, hurt, accuse, or make trouble, are bad mannered, rude and cowardly, hiding behind a device, with little thought for the people concerned. Literally people become objects, become without humanity, become impersonal and partly 'unreal', when technology is involved. And people aren't any of these things. Think everyone, before you reach for your favourite gadget and send out that hurtful barb to friend, family or foe.

Bad Habits

We all have bad habits. There are so many to choose from. Smoking, chewing your fingernails, laziness, picking your nose, talking too much and on and on they go. I also think that the way my defense mechanisms are these days are now bad habits. Sure, they originated from need and from a very bad place as a child and subsequent traumas over the years. And while I need to address the core issues there, to a degree, the negative spiral of thinking and pathways of emotions that surround me every day, making life so very difficult and joy very limited, is habitual. While I know it doesn't work, I still do it. Do things without a conscious thought to stop it or intervene or change it. Just like a bad habit. It takes a lot of energy and conscious thought to change bad habits. As it will do with the way I criticise myself or judge myself on standards I've borrowed from others and from society. Using these things to beat and pummel myself, until I am weary and have no motivation or belief in myself. And fear. Fear is with me all the time. I live with a certain level of hyper-vigilance - one step away from panic it seems. But I accept this and assume I must get used to it. Yet I flee from the fear if I can, distract with not always healthy choices, avoid what I really want in life in case I ignite a flicker of fear or other negative emotional set, erect barriers of all sorts to keep me safe, control every possible thing I can and basically sabotage my own dreams and joys with old coping and defense mechanisms that are triggered far too easily and that I allow to run their course. Yes, they were born from great trauma. Yes, I need to deal with the inner darkness and the "root of all evil" so to speak. But the chaos inside can surely be turned down a few notches. The intensity of the fear tolerated by letting it in and realising I have nothing in the current moment to fear. The paralysing criticism/judgement reigned in, so I am freer to attempt the things I crave, the things I love, the dreams I want to pursue. Freer to live. To let joy in. Bad habits - far more than smoking or nose picking. And far more damaging and far reaching into daily lives.

Organisation

I wonder what happens to good intentions? Even after a lot of work and time organising things or tidying up - what happens to the resolution to keep it that way? Internet Bookmarks, cupboards, drawers, the kitchen table, the inside of your car, even the garden - all have lives of their own, seeming to return to a state of chaos overnight. Must be the little devil sitting on the shoulder of good intentions. *laughs*

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

Old sayings often have great value and are being lost in our modern society. Not only in saying them, but practicing them. Our society is becoming more and more superficial where appearances and first impressions carry too much weight, having all the gadgets, the right car and new house are valued too highly, as is the academic and extra-curricula achievements of even very young children. What happened to getting to know people? Seeing beyond whether they are black, white, Asian, fat, thin or if they're wearing clean or name-brand clothing? What happened to working hard, caring for friends and family, valuing what you have, working from the bottom up, repairing and renovating your home as you can afford and as years go by? What happened to children being children without the pressure of achievement? See qualities in all of us beyond status, money and the highest achievement possible? I was driving home this morning and noticed an older man in very dirty raggy clothing, carrying all sorts of junk, walking along the highway with his head down, before disappearing from sight. He appeared to be homeless - something we don't see much in our small town. Instead of feeling disgusted at his appearance or scared because he looked different from the norm, I felt incredible sadness and empathy for him and made a mental note to keep an eye out for him in the following days, and to offer him a warm drink and direction to the local Salvation Army Depo, or help of a similar nature, that seems appropriate in the given moment. I felt proud of myself and a swelling of my heart, at the love I seem to have for humanity. And saddened too, that I judge myself too harshly on the exact same things I deplore when others judge or that I don't seem to judge others by Criticising myself for not working enough, for being fat, for wearing sloppy clothes or being ugly and lazy. A little reminder to be kinder to myself as I'm as deserving of self love as others are of my love.

Authentic Self

How wonderous the feeling is when you get a glimpse of your true self. Of what you want in life, without what people have told you you should do over the years. Without voices of current or past people or societal issues intruding. Without your inner critic or judge rearing it's ugly head. Just a clear picture of what you want to do and the path you want to lead. This is your inner spirit, your inner self, which is so true and beautiful, speaking to you. And it's a feeling beyond description in it's wonder. It doesn't mean the path will be easy and stumble free. It just means it will be worth it.

Drama

I often wonder why some people seem to thrive on having drama in their lives. Unnecessary drama. I understand busy and complicated lives, and life throwing you something unexpected. But drama for the sake of drama. Bitchiness, fighting, friends, not friends, general nastiness and drama, as I term it. I have enough inner turmoil going on, from all that has happened to me in my life, that I like to maintain as calm an outer world as possible. And life is too short for all that. And happiness too elusive. Maybe all the bad stuff that happened to me hasn't been in vain, giving me a positive outlook and an appreciation of the important things in life.

Music

I love music. I've always wished I was musical and could play an instrument. I taught myself to play the organ to a certain level when I was a child, but never went any further. I love listening to music. Trying to match it to my mood. Sad music helps me cry and sob when I am full of sadness but can't release it. If I'm angry, sometimes loud Def Leppard style music will beat in time with the pulsing anger until it subsides. If I'm in an upbeat mood, especially when I'm driving, it's great to sing along to music and I feel free, alive and happy. Quiet calming music also helps me relax when I am anxious or out of sorts. I just love the way music of all kinds, whether you love it or hate it, invokes emotions. Matches moods. Or just adds to your life. Now I'm wondering why I don't turn the stereo on as much as I'd like ....

Something to make you laugh ....

Life Lessons

Us humans could take lessons from dogs and kids, in particular. I know my dogs, if they have a disagreement, it's quick and it's over with, and they're back to being best of mates. No grudges, no bringing it back up weeks later or walking on eggshells around each other. Kids are the same. They'll have the biggest barney, get in a huff, run and tell tales on each other, then wander back to play, all in due course. Dogs are loving, loyal, playful, fun, comforting - whatever you need in that moment. They are just themselves - consistent. No airs and graces. If we treat them well, we are rewarded ten-thousand fold. Kids are the same - they like consistency, love and support, and they'll be your allies for life. Kids are honest to the point of brutality (my nephew told me I smelled the other day because I had deep heat on). Except they're not brutal or cruel. Just innocent and untouched by society. What you see is what you get, every time. No airs and graces, pretence, back stabbing or gossiping. They are who they are before damage is done and they get tied up in shoulds, oughts, musts, societal rules, politics and conventions that take you far away from your true beautiful spirit. Kids and dogs live for the moment whether it's happiness, sadness, anger, fear or whatever. I wish they didn't have to experience the negative emotions, but the way they experience them is so authentic. Anxiety stems from not living in the moment. Not experiencing life fully stems from not living in the moment. Kids and dogs at least experience life fully and move on to the next moment, whatever that may be, without baggage dragging along behind. Unfortunately for kids, that comes with time. So many lessons can be taken from how children and animals interact with each other, with society and with the world. Be more observant and try to emulate what you see. Who knows, in time we may change the world back to a simpler, peaceful and happier place. Bit by little bit.

Closed Minds & Right Fighters

I find that the people that vocally claim they are open minded, good listeners, admit when they are wrong and like to keep the peace, are usually totally the opposite. They are willing to listen to others as long as their opinion wins out. They will argue to the death, even if they come out sounding totally ridiculous. Catching themselves out with excuses, justifications and anything they can grasp at a second's notice. They judge people because they're arrogant enough to assume that their way is the only way. Instead of listening they'll talk over you, talk at you or impatiently listen until they can give their point of view. I guess I'm a little jaded as I have come across too many of these people, until my head is spinning with indecision, self doubt and a huge sense of worthlessness. Tolerance and empathy are lost arts.

Gardeners

Gardeners are always great people too. I haven't as yet met a gardener that won't share tips, advice or cuttings from their plants. Never as yet met a gardener who isn't happy to show you around their garden. Or a gardener who will share disaster stories without considering it a reflection on their skill or abilities. Never thinking it as something that dents their ego or lowers their self esteem. But as something that helps other gardeners, sharing the joy around and giving confidence to new gardeners. They are always willing to mentor without condemnation. And always ready with a friendly smile.

Dog People

I always think that people who own dogs are nice people. Of course I mean people who really look after their dogs and love them as part of their family. If you ever run into other dog owners with your dogs, a conversation is always had. Smiles abound, happy chit chat, patting cute dogs, and your day is all the better for it. True Dog Owners Rock!!

Rudeness

I wonder why people these days have to be so rude. Manners are free yet so many people won't even use them. It's sad as a society to see so many people think it's the norm, to be rude to each other. That being rude, nasty and inconsiderate will get you somewhere faster than being polite. You can be assertive in life without being aggressive. And being aggressive doesn't always mean physical altercations either. How often do you see rude shop assistants, or customers ranting and raving to try and get their way? And how immature it is to hang up on someone when talking on the phone. Did please, thank you and sorry become erased from the dictionary? Swearing, road rage, giving the finger - commonplace these days seemingly. Talking over people, interrupting, walking away during conversations - what is up with that? The cold shoulder treatment - didn't we grow out of that in high school? And making excuses, lying and being late. Come on - just be honest and a little bit more considerate of others. It's not hard. It should be second nature. And saying things via email and SMS that you wouldn't say in person. That is plain gutless!

On and on it goes, modeled for children that you insist must behave another way. The cycle will never be broken if we don't change ourselves, because children model what they see, not what you say.

Children's temper tantrums are hard to deal with but watching the adult version is just plain embarrassing. For them, not us as the viewers.

People just don't care

People just don't care about other people like they used to. Or at least like I hear stories of how they used to. Stories of weekend get togethers to play tennis and eat, Friday night dances, talking with your neighbour over the fence, extended families getting together, cousins growing up together and so on. Life is full of technology to save us time compared with our grandparents. Yet what do we do with that time? It certainly isn't spent caring for other people, being polite, considerate or interested. Life seems busier than ever with all these time-saving devices, technology and gadgets. Common moral fibre's of years gone by have been shredded. No longer do you keep an eye on your elderly neighbour to see if they are OK. No longer do you ever introduce yourself to your neighbours if you move to a new location. No longer to you phone family members or rate extended family as important. No longer is family time considered important - but making sure kids are in every activity is. No longer do you have life-long friendships. People are more fickle and live for the moment these days. People also say what you want to hear, what soothes the moment or what makes them sound good. They may even mean it when carried away in the moment, but don't follow through. And this leads to raised and dashed hopes for those left in the wake of this. People aren't honest, with themselves or others. There is no accountability anymore. No "I forgot" but elaborate tales to cover human fallibilities that we all understand. I've heard people scoff at those in therapy or be downhearted that there is so much abuse and violence, or even be glad it's talked about more these days so people get help. But a lot of the heartache and damage people suffer is at the hands of thoughtless and uncaring people. If we went back to some of those old morals and old ways, valuing and respecting people, so much damage could be avoided. And so much damage could be halted instead of perpetuated.

Because hurt people hurt other people with their bitterness. Or worse, keep hurting themselves, never learning other ways and never teaching their children better ways to live.

Is our society doomed to implode?

Accomplishment

Accomplishment doesn't have to be heaps of praise by others or validation by important people or awards won. All that is lovely of course and we wouldn't be human if that didn't stroke our ego's just a little bit. But inner accomplishment is a feeling almost indescribable. When you do something or finish something or even attempt something that is difficult for you, or that you don't know how to do, brings about a feeling that is much more validating than any award. Because it does more than stroke your ego. It gives you confidence in yourself. Brings about self love. Counteracts damaging thoughts and negative experiences. And every little thing you do that brings about this feeling, builds you up inside and allows your true spirit to shine, as you stop berating yourself, hating yourself or conforming to others standards. Bring on accomplishment!

Being Late

One of my pet hates is when people are chronically late. I don't mean on occasion - I'm not that big of a Nazi or Perfectionist. Because as life is, it throws curve balls at us all on occasion. But I know a handful of people who you can guarantee will be late 100% of the time. It's how late, is the question. You can't plan events, go with them places, rely on them or anything. My opinion is, in these cases, is that it's just plain rude and inconsiderate. These people are arrogant beyond belief and very self involved. They believe, whether they admit to themselves or not, that their time is more valuable than anyone else's is. It is the height of bad manners. And I have no time for this trait in a person's character.

Forwarded Emails

Don't get me wrong - I love to get a funny joke or cute message as much as the rest of us. But what I can't understand is why, in this day and age, when people are mostly so computer literate, at least in the area of emails, that nobody seems to know how to forward an email properly. Even supposed computer experts and technicians. If you're like me, you groan at an inbox full of forwarded emails. Not because you don't want to read them, but for me, it's because you have to scroll through what feels like miles of other people's email addresses in a neverending list, until you get to the actual message. Has it really come to the point in society where we're all so busy or too lazy that we can't take 3-4 seconds to highlight other people's email addresses and hit the delete key, before we forward on the email? Then again, if we forwarded them properly by putting everyone's email addresses in the BCC box instead of the TO box, there wouldn't be that problem. Or the increasing problem of spam with our email addresses forwarded all over the world without our permission.

Come on guys - forward an email properly!

Family

I wonder why being family seems to give us a license to treat each other so badly. Is it because we're comfortable with each other and our standards slip a little? Or maybe we know deep inside that they'll love us no matter what and we'll love them back? Because rarely do we treat friends, acquaintances, employers and others, as badly as we do family, on a consistent basis. Nor do we take as much crap from those people as we do our families. There must be some sort of biological thing going on because we all "keep on keeping on" in the family stakes, no matter how bad things seem to get. A therapist friend once said to me that her industry would be out of business if it weren't for families. How sad is that!

The roles we have in our family are often defined very early on in life, and for some reason, we retain these often unwanted titles. "The black sheep, the easygoing one, the one with the quick temper, the brainy one, the capable one, the lazy one" and so on. Oh, as adults, we may shake them off sometimes, or for some of the time. But when the going gets tough and claws come out, for some reason, we're thrown smack bang back into those categories. Family roles, family dynamics - a complicated system. And one we seem to never gain enough perspective to see each member of the family as uniquely as we would someone else in our lives. Shared history can be a good thing, but it can also sabotage what could be. Families ......

Having Children

This issue is much more complex than I am able to solve, but I just know that something needs to be done in regards to parenting and having children. There are too many cases of abuse, neglect and life-long damage being inflicted on children. We are raising potential adults, the future, the next generation for this world. Maybe parenting classes are something that is needed in high school, or as part of maternity care or as a requirement of receiving child payments. I don't know what the solution is - just that something has to be done, our systems revamped and child care and welfare to become everybody's business. Don't sacrifice anymore children to a life in hell or pergatory as adults.

Local Government - Shire Councils

Sometimes I wonder how local shire councils keep running. If they were a small business, they'd be long since bankrupt due to mismanagement of funds, inability to make decisions, completely absurd decisions and a lack of what would be termed customer service when dealing with the general public. They do not care except about pumping up their own ego's with their perceived elevated status in town because "they're on the Council". If I were them, I would NOT advertise that fact! An example in my town is decisions they have repeatedly made about slowing traffic through our shopping centre, which is a highway.They put brick "humps" in the middle of the road at 'strategic' intervals with signs on them telling you they are there. But oh, did they stop to think that larger vehicles that have to travel that highway cannot fit, so everytime a wide load gets to town, they must call out council employees to take down the signs, guide the truck through and put the signs back up. When the townfolk suggested maybe remove the brick humps. Oh no, not a good idea at all for all sorts of insipid reasons, one being the cost to do so. But we all wonder at the costs incurred for wages alone to call out employees at all sorts of odd hours, let alone the fact they have to repair the humps every month due to the damage the wide loads cause. Go figure.

Then they installed walls at the corners of the shopping centre streets to beautify the streetscape. Blocked views, accidents caused, children playing on them dangerously near traffic etc etc. So they finally decided to amend these. Amazement rang out throughout the township. They put a lot of thought and studies into it apparently, then installed big black iron balustrades on top of them. Supposedly to stop people sitting on them, children jumping, to beautify and match another area in the street etc etc. Now vision is completely obstructed and they're about to spend thousands doing another study because they realise what a huge error this was and "they just don't know what to do."

These Councillors live in our town and use these intersections daily. None are blind. None are deaf. None have impaired brain function. Whatever happened to common sense? Whatever happened to listening to the public's sensible suggestions? Whatever happens to the brains of previously sensible people who join the ranks of the Shire Council?

You have to wonder when after all these things (and more), they tell the public they just don't know why they had to raise the land rates so much this year to balance the budget!

Tom Cruise

Everyone likes or dislikes people for many reasons. Many of us even like or dislike celebrities that we don't even know. I'm no different in this regard. .One person I have grown to dislike is Tom Cruise. I don't dislike his acting or his movies. But as a person I am growing to dislike his public persona. When interviewed, by many different people, of which he has obviously agreed to, he can be quite rude to them, quarrelsome, pick or look for fights and really, offers the public nothing. Most of the questions are very innocuous yet he'll be prickly or downright rude. He may think he's making the media look as if they're harassing him, but he is in fact making himself look like an ass! My pet hate, is when an interviewer asks what Katie thinks, and he curtly replies every time "you'll have to ask her". They are always light-hearted little pieces of information that any married couple would readily know about each other and their family. Such as "is she happy being a mother?". He is turning into a public pompuous arrogant and controlling ass. And sadly, for me, this rubs off on my inclination to view a new movie he may star in. Boo to Tom Cruise!

Christmas

I loved Christmas as a kid, like most children. SO excited on Christmas Eve I couldn't get to sleep. But also afraid if I didn't, Santa wouldn't come. Yet trying to also pretend I was asleep and stay away, just for a fleeting glimpse of this magical hero. My brother & I used to get up as soon as we possibly could to rifle through our stockings. Christmas Day always meant presents of course, but Mum & Dad being so happy and laid back, lot's of family around, everyone laughing and happy and heaps of yummy food with the word 'No' banned for the day.

Of course over the years I've watched Christmas become so very commercialised and the true meaning and simpler traditions getting lost or forgotten. This part of Christmas I dislike. But I also don't like Christmas anymore either, as it's a day I find where people in my family are still nice on that day, racing to give you a hug and a kiss, tell you they love you and wishing you a Merry Christmas. Presents come and food flows. But it feels so fake to me now as the rest of the year, as a family, we don't interact or care for each other like that. I feel forgotten, neglected, cast aside.

So on Christmas Day, instead of being able to enjoy what is for that day, I find that inside my heart, a huge void is ripped open, filled with loneliness and despair.

I wonder why we need occasions such as Christmas to be nice to each other. A little injection of Christmas into each and every day, is what I'd love and what I aim for in my interactions with people.

Marijuana

I've smoked marijuana once or twice in my life and it did nothing much for me. Probably because I'm so tight and it costs such a big chunk out of my weekly budget. *laughs* I've also seen what it does to those who experience psychosis, paranoia or extreme lack of motivation due to regular and prolonged use. But if they're consenting fully informed adults doing this, I have less of a problem with it, than if people are growing it to sell and push to others, especially teens and young adults.

I don't think it's necessarily great for you or a wise choice, but if someone was growing a single plant or two for their own use, I'm less inclined to get upset about it and demand police resources, than for large crops, drug pushers and harder drugs. Probably because our police are stretched thin anyway, and as wrong and sad as it is, sometimes battles have to be picked and lesser ones let go. And I've had personal experience battling the police to investigate a serious crime against me, and for whatever reason, they were less than helpful. So to stretch police resources and get hardened criminals and drug dealers off the streets, I guess I'm "in favour" (for want of a better description) of letting go some of the smaller personal marijuana users.

I'm definitely in favour of marijuana used in cancer treatment and for pain relief. But that of course is another issue.

Phew! I'm so nervous typing this as I so rarely voice opinions, that even doing it this way, is scary for me. Be gentle on me *smiles*.

Shadow Girl

Photography

My View of Life (above)
My Sunflower (below)

Sometimes I try and take photos of nature and things around me that express how I'm feeling or capture how truly miraculous nature is. Here are a few I could find fairly quickly.