Sunday, March 29, 2009


You see it happen so many times. People going from one long term relationship that has failed, straight into another relationship. Not even finishing the first relationship fully, before embarking on another. I am not a prude. I understand not all relationships or marriages work out. But why do people jump straight into another one? What is wrong with taking some time, even a few months, to be on your own? Gather your thoughts, finish that relationship physically AND emotionally. Process things. Let things sit. Gather your breath. Sort yourself out. Calm down and settle down. ESPECIALLY when children are involved. If you are confused and having trouble adapting, image the turmoil, confusion, damage and hurt the kids experience. Carrying YOUR emotional baggage into the future. Shaping and molding them. Changing them forever. Perpetuating bad relationships and cycles and dysfunction, when there is no need for it. People are afraid to be on their own. Afraid to try and cope. Afraid of what they might feel or what they will discover about themselves. Thinking they need a partner to be complete. That this is the only real goal in life. Others just like that perpetual feeling of "being in love". I understand parents need lives too. Of course. But when you decide to have children and bring them into the world, your job is to consider them first and to minimize any hurt as much as you can. You can't shield them from everything. But making stupid decisions for instant gratification is very WRONG. If you don't take even a little bit of time to catch your breath and be on your own, even just to sort your domestic situation out, you are really doomed to repeat the mistakes and choose similar people to the failed relationships. Come on adults, especially parents - do the right thing by your children AND yourselves. Sort your lives out and stop the dysfunction that creates enormous pain. It's not fair on the children. They didn't ask for it.

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